Hello. My name is Frederick. I’m a monkey. I was born in London in 1922. I hate computers. They make me so mad that I throw them across the room and smash them with hammers. One day, my master brought home a new MacBook Pro, and I HATED it. I grabbed it from his hands and smashed it over my knee. So he sent me out on the streets and never let me back inside. I then wandered into a computer store, and smashed everything in there. I was arrested by the London police. That’s why I’m writing this in jail.